I haven’t written here (or Patreon, or Tumblr) in a very long time, and there’s a lot of reasons for that.

In November, my eyesight changed rapidly–almost overnight. I can still see, and there’s been slow, gradual, improvements. But my sight isn’t what it once was.

I got medication for the chronic migraines, which helped a lot. So far I’m on day 8 of a headache-free streak. I still *get* migraines, but they’re way less painful, and I can pinpoint my triggers way better now. (Mainly the weather, and changes in barometric pressure.)

But I got the migraines mostly taken care of…and the fatigue hit.

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At first, I thought it was because I moved. Moving is exhausting, and moving when you’re disabled is extra hard.

It wasn’t until this month that I realized…something’s going on. I’m not sure what yet–I have an appointment with a sleep specialist at the end of May–but this level of exhausted is unreal.

As in, there have been days when I’ve meant to just put shoes on to go outside. Only to find myself collapsed on my bed, too tired to move.

“This isn’t an ‘I’m tired, I can fix this with coffee’,” I said to my doctor. “This is ‘your floor looks like a good place for a nap’ kind of tired.”

After a few questions about my sleep, I’ve (hopefully) got a test for sleep apnea in my future. Like anything else health-wise, I immediately turn to research.

So I’ve learned recently that waking up nearly every night struggling to breath from vivid nightmares, with sleep paralysis isn’t normal? If so, that means I’ve been having sleep issues for almost a decade and a half.

Which is terrifying, and not in a fun way.

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I have been writing–in fact, I finished draft one of an erotic horror novella. But it hasn’t been steady at all.

So that’s why I’ve been away so much. I’ve simply been. Too. Fucking. Exhausted. To write anything.